Friday, August 14, 2009
I have a temporary(hopefully) visitor outside our room who disturbs Kz's peaceful slumber every now and then with his cries of "tucko!" I don't resent his presence though. At least it's not so quiet anymore at 3am.
Why can't I sleep at night? I hate it when unnecessary little things keep me away from sleep when 11pm strikes. Is it because Floren's no longer here beside me? I hate it more when I wake up at 10am feeling that I have wasted 4 hours of sunlight in bed.
aaaarrrghhhh!!! There is something I want to write about, but I am too busy now thinking of something to keep me busy tomorrow.
Lord, you have been so good to me. Who am i to compain about what I feel and what I want to feel. You are the one who has given me this peace and comfort from day 1 and it would be soooo ungrateful of me to ask you to make me cry tonight.
Why am I scared forgetting the pain of Floren's physical death? Am I trying to hold on to it as it is the only last reminder I see now of his life? Confusing. Maybe because the pain is the only intense emotion I have of him left? For now I have learned to love him with a love that does not just involve my emotion but more of my spirit, a love no one can take away from me, a love that though unseen, remains real and deeply etched in my soul, a love i will forever hold on to, because it's a love that has brought me to where I am now, a love that has molded me into a strong woman, and a love that will continue to give me strength when all else fails... a love that will keep my heart aglow for the rest of my life. Tinong and Destiny's love....
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