from sinner to saint

2 months have passed since you technically died and i still feel like everything is a dream.

I miss you.

Everything hurts, and the sad thing is, I no longer have the capacity to cry the pain away. My emotions are dead or maybe I am just trying to numb my heart as I do not know if I can ever survive such exquisite pain.

Or maybe I cannot cry because each time I feel like doing so, our happy memories come crashing back into my mind. I smile for a moment, then the tears just dry up inside me.

I almost forgot to live for 2 months in hopes that I would also forget the truth that you are gone. I did not want to write, or talk to friends, or start planning for Kz's future. I did not even want tp clean my bedroom because I wanted to stay in a messy room just so I wouldn't focus on the emptiness of my bed.

Then I realized it would be much more painful to allow our love story and our dreams to fade. Your death will then have lost it's meaning and purpose...

I remain your other half, in life and in death. We made the vow of "till death do us part" on our wedding day, but we had a marriage and a love that even death cannot part. And it will remain that way. I will continue your legacy, and I will continue to be the girl you fell in love with, the woman you have always loved, and the wife who will keep on loving you faithfully.

until here, for now.

your destiny